I just awoke from yet another dream in which I seemed to relive aspects of my very real past. Nurses, emergency rooms, infections; together, they paint a picture of story in which I am all too familiar with. As I have two more days left of my antibiotic and worry about rebounding once I am off, these dreams painstakingly haunt me to my core.
I don't know how I will ever get beyond my past, especially when I know there is more to come in the future. I am shaken and torn; I feel more fragile inside than that of when I was a little girl. I spend a momentous amount of time crying. What I would do to be without the anxiety that holds such a heavy grasp on me each and every single day. Yes, I see someone, and I am trying to work beyond my issues. At just 22 tender, though, I feel so impoverished in spirit with this condition at the moment. Yet I have to endure it for the rest of my life, I need to find a way to cope...
I don't know how I will ever get beyond my past, especially when I know there is more to come in the future. I am shaken and torn; I feel more fragile inside than that of when I was a little girl. I spend a momentous amount of time crying. What I would do to be without the anxiety that holds such a heavy grasp on me each and every single day. Yes, I see someone, and I am trying to work beyond my issues. At just 22 tender, though, I feel so impoverished in spirit with this condition at the moment. Yet I have to endure it for the rest of my life, I need to find a way to cope...
Hope you're doing well, Arianna. Thank you so much for sharing your deep feelings here. It gives me courage to come to terms with my own doubts and fears. All the best to you.
ReplyDeleteBTW, we have a close family member with CLOVES.
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