MRI

I wanted to update, and I have a fair amount of energy to do so right now. The problem is that my mind is running rampant and I don't even know how to formulate a sequence that would make sense...

All I can say is this: This most recent infection has traumatized me. If you read below, then you know I woke up with this infection. Literally, I sat up in my bed and had no idea what had hit me. My back, buttock, thigh, and knee (down to just before the kneecap) had never hurt so badly in my life.

The other night, Dr. Alomari forced me to go for an MRI. I was reluctant to do so given how febrile I was; the last thing I felt like doing was sitting in a confined space in a chilly room with a dim atmosphere. My head, up until yesterday, felt as though it was being hit repeatedly by a hammer. So, I gave some resistance in terms of initially going for the MRI. However, one of the best nurses of all time, Kristen, sat down and explained what would be at stake if I didn't have it done. So I obliged and went and had it done; and boy, was I lucky I did. All of the areas in which I described as being excruciatingly painful featured abnormalities in the MRI. These abnormalities were in the form of inflamed cysts. The problem with these cysts is that they create their own thick walls around them; therefore, when I was getting treated with intravenous or oral antibiotics, the medicine was not reaching those areas. Rather, the bacteria in those areas kept growing stronger and more malicious. There was no way for the medicine to get to them. What needed to be done next was surgery in which Dr. Alomari would aspirate the fluids through schlerotherapy.

I will continue on with the surgery in my next post (hopefully later today or tomorrow).
Hope you all are happy and healthy - A

Hello Again, Hospital = (

Hey everyone! I am, as some of you may already be aware, back in the hospital yet again with another cellulitis infection. Here is how it all started: I awoke Thursday afternoon with an intense pain that spread from my back down the middle back of my KTS impacted leg. It felt as though someone were skinning that part of my body alive; it was as though someone was carving into me with ten knives throughout the area. I have had that feeling many a time before with cellulitis, but this time the pain level was so amplified that every passing moment felt like sheer torture.

My dad drove me into Boston immediately, where it was proven through my WBC that I was indeed infected. I already knew I was, but unfortunately in the emergency room you often get doctors who are unfamiliar with your situation. I, however, know the feeling of infection so well that I trust my intuition when things aren't right. Shortly after arriving to the hospital, I sparked a 39.3 temperature, and my heart rate was down into the 80's. The redness came with vengeance, albeit after hours of being in the emergency room. I was told the blood cultures were already growing back a bacteria; this was rather odd to hear as I have only grown something back twice in my life before. In fact, I think Dr. Fishman said I was the only one of his KTS patients who has grown back any specific kind of bacteria. In a way it's good, as it tells you exactly the bug that needs to be treated. However, it also proves the infection is in my bloodstream, which is rather frightening. I have had sepsis several times before, and of course it is incredibly trying... However, this infection is by far the most painful and stubborn one I have had thus far. By the way, I grew back Strep B Gram Positive in my culture.

There is so much more I want to tell you all about this infection, but due to how fatigued I currently am, I will continue this post either tomorrow or the next day, Wishing you all nothing but well! The only blessing about this hospitalization is my incredibly strong and brilliant KTS friend Rachel is here on the same floor as me and her lovely mom is staying with her. It is so nice to be able to get to see them while here, they truly are such brave, beautiful people. However, Rachel is going through a tough time herself so I would love it if you guys could open your heart to her and say some prayers.

My eyes are starting to shut by themselves, so that's my signal to go, for now at least. I look forward to writing more soon.

Until next time, - A xoxo

Foot/Ankle Issue

Sometimes, I become rather shy in regards to my blog nowadays as I know a lot of family and friends are reading it. At first I was a lot more comfortable being so raw and open about my deepest emotions, but sometimes as of late I have become shy. It's almost as though I would rather complete strangers read it than those closest to me, if that makes even the slightest sense... It's not that I do not appreciate people caring enough to even take time out of their day to read up on me, for I do... I can just be incredibly coy and timid in regards to my writing ability and the way in which I express my emotions.

But...Carrying on! Below is my foot as of current. My ankle/top of foot (outer left part) have been in a momentous amount of pain these past couple of weeks. I went to my interventional radiologist and was told it was inflamed and there were some small clots. As far as treatment, I will know a more definitive plan come September 13^th at the Vascular Anomalies Clinic.

Until then, it's Advil 400 mg at a time for relief. I found it helps more than my Meloxicam (another NSAID) and since you cannot mix the medications due to them being in the same class, I have solely been relying upon the Advil.  - A

Tell me this doesn't Stroke your Soul

The words that follow are not my own. Rather, they belong to a man named Kevin who I have never met in person or had communication with in any way whatsoever. Still, after reading them, I was so unbelievably touched that I had to share this. Keep reading and find out why. "With one small gesture you can change a person's life"

One day, when I was a freshman in high school,
I saw a kid from my class was walking home from school.
His name was Kyle.
It looked like he was carrying all of his books.
I thought to myself, 'Why would anyone bring home all his books on a Friday?
He must really be a nerd.'
I had quite a weekend planned (parties and a football game with my friends tomorrow afternoon), so I shrugged my shoulders and went on.
As I was walking, I saw a bunch of kids running toward him.
They ran at him, knocking all his books out of his arms and tripping him so he landed in the dirt.
His glasses went flying, and I saw them land in the grass about ten feet from him...
He looked up and I saw this terrible sadness in his eyes.
My heart went out to him. So, I jogged over to him as he crawled around looking for his glasses, and I saw a tear in his eye.
As I handed him his glasses, I said, 'Those guys are jerks.'
They really should get lives.
' He looked at me and said, 'Hey thanks!'
There was a big smile on his face.
It was one of those smiles that showed real gratitude.
I helped him pick up his books, and asked him where he lived.
As it turned out, he lived near me, so I asked him why I had never seen him before.
He said he had gone to private school before now.
I would have never hung out with a private school kid before.
We talked all the way home, and I carried some of his books.
He turned out to be a pretty cool kid.
I asked him if he wanted to play a little football
With my friends.
He said yes.
We hung out all weekend and the more I got to know Kyle, the more I liked him, and my friends thought the same of him.
Monday morning came, and there was Kyle with the huge stack of books again.
I stopped him and said, 'Boy, you are gonna really build some serious muscles with this pile of books everyday!
' He just laughed and handed me half the books.
Over the next four years, Kyle and I became best friends.
When we were seniors we began to think about college.
Kyle decided on Georgetown and I was going to Duke.
I knew that we would always be friends, that the miles would never
Be a problem.
He was going to be a doctor and I was going for business on a football scholarship.
Kyle was valedictorian of our class.
I teased him all the time about being a nerd.
He had to prepare a speech for graduation.
I was so glad it wasn't me having to get up there and speak.
Graduation day, I saw Kyle.
He looked great.
He was one of those guys that really found himself during high school..
He filled out and actually looked good in glasses.
He had more dates than I had and all the girls loved him.
Boy, sometimes I was jealous!
Today was one of those days.
I could see that he was nervous about his speech.
So, I smacked him on the back and said, 'Hey, big guy, you'll be great!'
He looked at me with one of those looks (the really grateful one) and smiled....
' Thanks,' he said.
As he started his speech, he cleared his throat, and began...
'Graduation is a time to thank those who helped you make it through those tough years.
Your parents, your teachers, your siblings, maybe a coach...but mostly your friends....
I am here to tell all of you that being a friend to someone is the best gift you can give them.
I am going to tell you a story.'
I just looked at my friend with disbelief as he told the first day we met.
He had planned to kill himself over the weekend.
He talked of how he had cleaned out his locker so his Mom wouldn't have to do it later and was carrying his stuff home.
He looked hard at me and gave me a little smile.
'Thankfully, I was saved.
My friend saved me from doing the unspeakable.'
I heard the gasp go through the crowd as this handsome, popular boy told us all about his weakest moment.
I saw his Mom and Dad looking at me and smiling that same grateful smile.
Not until that moment did I realize it's depth.
Never underestimate the power of your actions.
With one small gesture you can change a person's life.
For better or for worse.
God puts us all in each others lives to impact one another in some way.
Look for God in others.
You now have two choices, you can:
1) Pass this on to your friends or
2) Delete it and act like it didn't touch your heart.
As you can see, I took choice number 1.
'Friends are angels who lift us to our feet when our wings have trouble remembering how to fly.'
There is no beginning or end..Yesterday is history.
Tomorrow is a mystery.
Today is a gift.
I hope you all have a blessed day and lots of gifts ahead of you

Dreams Gone Awry

I just awoke from yet another dream in which I seemed to relive aspects of my very real past. Nurses, emergency rooms, infections; together, they paint a picture of story in which I am all too familiar with. As I have two more days left of my antibiotic and worry about rebounding once I am off, these dreams painstakingly haunt me to my core.

I don't know how I will ever get beyond my past, especially when I know there is more to come in the future. I am shaken and torn; I feel more fragile inside than that of when I was a little girl. I spend a momentous amount of time crying. What I would do to be without the anxiety that holds such a heavy grasp on me each and every single day. Yes, I see someone, and I am trying to work beyond my issues. At just 22 tender, though, I feel so impoverished in spirit with this condition at the moment. Yet I have to endure it for the rest of my life, I need to find a way to cope...