Hello, Gorgeous

Today is a rather beautiful day; the birds chirp in unison and the sky consists of a pale baby blue color sans clouds in the sky. I have little pain, and appear to be the picture of health. I have emotional hardships and chronic pain, but all that aside I cannot help but appreciate the normalcy of this lovely Sunday. Often, so many of you read about my stresses and physical obstacles pertaining to this condition, but it's important to know the tides can turn. Dr. Alomari always used to tell me that things will eventually get better. I don't know about anyone else, but I would certainly consider this a vast improvement seeing as I have been out of the hospital for a month and a half... I would be naïve to think that things will stay this way forever with such a finicky condition, that much I am aware. However, to appreciate a good moment in the midst of it while happening is everything. It is absolutely everything.

- Arianna

Rain

The raindrops, I'm convinced they are heaven sent, that they are heaven's angels' way of telling us. Telling us what, you may ask? Telling us to feel. No one seems to be getting it though, the message is lost in transient. Location: Longwood Ave in Boston when a path of rain presents itself amongst those present. One gentlewoman agitatedly pulls out her umbrella, clearly inconvenienced by the impromptu shower. One hollowed man wrestles with his stubborn zipper, trying with all his might to get it to obey his orders. Others hover in masses under brick shelters, not wanting to get wet. Very understandable, I've been there myself. In a looks orientated world, us girls don't want our hair and makeup we so defiantly worked on that morning to come undone due to some sporadic raindrops! Others, well others simply don't want to feel the unpleasantness that the cold, wet raindrops impart upon their skin.

However, I challenge you to let a raindrop soak into your skin sometime or other. To do so, one must use the practice of mindfulness (a concept in which I suggest everyone read up on). Let the rain seep into your skin, and continue to linger within you. Allow the rain to make an impact, to allow it to allow you to do something drastic: feel. Feel, with every inch of your body and relish in the fact you are alive, blocking out all other potential distractions. Despite your hardships, let the rain serve as a trusty reminder that you are here and for good reason.

So often, we run from the rain. In all fairness, though, it's just there to remind us we are alive; it reminds us we are beings on this earth who are here for short inklings of time. Rain; when is the last time you've felt it?  - A

"I don't want to turn this into a trite sermon on the passing of time, but..."

I think that when one lives with a certain degree of chronic pain and medical trauma on a daily basis, it can be somewhat easy to fall into our own worlds. In fact, one could argue that focusing on ourselves and our health is somewhat of a primal tactic – a “survival of the fittest method”, so to speak. We focus on getting by from day to day, and don't always realize how quickly time is actually passing. When in the moment, it may actually feel as though the clock is barely ticking. I can't generalize this to all people or patients, of course. This passage is mostly tailored to myself, but I have a feeling one or two people out there may be able to relate. I don't want to turn this into a trite sermon on the passing of time, but tomorrow my sister receives Confirmation. And, this past Friday was her first prom. It's so weird watching her do the things I did not to long ago myself – and it makes me realize that in spite of how slow it may feel life is dragging sometimes, it goes by faster than which I give it credit for.

I think the beauty and heartache of getting older is coming to certain realizations, like realizing that days do seemingly go by in small clusters and eventually you find yourself reminiscing on the past ten years. I'm not good at living in the moment – in fact I am utterly horrific at it! My anxious mind likes to pull me forward constantly, and my depressed one likes to keep me stuck in some gaudy time machine. And I also understand how pain can preoccupy the mind immensely. But living in the moment is worth a try, and that is why I hope to improve upon this subject.

Sister & I