My Sister's Wedding with Cellulitis

Feeling lonelier than ever, I returned back to the hospital to be readmitted (as had been previously planned). The doctors had let me leave the hospital for the day to attend my sister's wedding. I was so glad I was able to attend and witness the beginning of her new life, but it was incredibly hard to maintain my composure throughout the entirety of the day.

With the help of hefty dosages of various pain pills and antibiotics, I was able to make do. However, I felt so incredibly sick inside. My butt (the area impacted by the cellulitis) was still throbbing like crazy, and my lower left calf (the Klippel impacted one) had a hard time holding up throughout the day. In this case, it was truly my mindset that allowed me to get through the day. This was the most important day of my sister's life, and I wanted nothing more than for her to enjoy her day. I did not want the focus to be on me, or to be a nuisance in any way whatsoever. So, I did my best to smile and hide the the intense pain in which I was feeling throughout the entirety of the ceremony and reception that followed. Do this for your sister, I kept thinking. Do this for your family. & so I did just that. In return, I got to attend one of the most beautiful ceremonies in which I had ever witnessed. As I stood with the other bridesmaids at the church altar, I watched as my sister and brother-in-law gazed into each other's eyes. They were so entranced with one another, and the look on their faces was nothing less than pure, genuine, honest love. Something clicked within me that day. I began to wonder if anyone would ever love me so unconditionally, and from that day forward I could no longer deny my inner romantic.

 I want someone to love me like that, I thought. Still, leading such an erratic lifestyle in which I am constantly being shuffled in and out of the hospital, I could not help but feel as though I would never find the one for me. Maybe I'm just not destined to find my soul-mate, I thought. At 22 years old, I have had no luck in terms of dating. I would be lying if I said that it did not bug me for I feel as though I am ready for a relationship despite my never-ending medical chaos. Still, at this age, I am having a rather hard time finding someone who can deal with a girl whose life is so unpredictable due to such an intrusive medical condition. The nurses that night said that my returning to the floor was somewhat surreal; it was almost like a scene out of a movie so they had said. I returned to my usual floor (10 Northwest) wearing my tight fitted emerald green bridesmaid dress with my hair extensions and full face of makeup in tow. We never see anything like this, said one of my favorite nurses. Indeed, it was quite odd; normally, my hospital attire consists of nothing but ratty sweats and a makeup free face and unwashed hair. Upon arriving, I felt so incredibly out of place. I wanted nothing more than to be amongst my family and friends, as opposed to being hooked back up to IV antibiotics and being inpatient once again.

The feeling of loneliness that had crept upon me during my return to the hospital was nothing less than heart-breaking. I wanted to be with my family to continue the celebration, but the reality of my life was preventing me from doing so. Still, I knew to get better I had to comply with the reality of my life and so I did just that. Now I am home, and hoping to stay here for at least a good couple of months as I truly feel burned out physically and emotionally. While many say I did not look sick (I guess I put on a good facade), I know that deep down inside I was struggling. Still, I would not have had it any other way as I got to partake in the beginning of my sister and brother-in-laws new life as husband and wife. It was truly a day to remember, and I feel blessed to have had the chance to even attend. Below is a picture from that day. Hope you all had an amazing holiday!

 Lots of love, Ari