When you are in the hospital so much,
it can seem like a fight to hold onto your own identity. Every hour
of every day there is someone telling you what to do – an army of
people dictating your every move, from what you can eat to how much
you are able to bend your arm (if you are lucky enough to have an IV
directly where it bends, that is!). I found that as I have aged, I
have become more internally annoyed with complying to all of these
things whenever I am hospital bound. It seems that just when you are
about to fall asleep, finally (after hours of mainly strangers poking
and prodding you), a nursing assistant comes in for vitals. That
nursing assistant then wants to know how much you have gone to the
bathroom, if you can sit up so they can listen to your lungs, what
you are doing with your life outside of the hospital, and so forth.
Forgive me if I sound incredibly
arrogant and unappreciative in the above paragraph as it is not my
intention in the slightest. Those staff workers are the ones playing
a vital role in chronicling my health's progress, and are merely
doing their job. For all I know they too were unable to sleep prior
to going to work and are just doing their best to make it through
their work shift. I always try to be mindful of that with every
hospital staffer I meet! Also, I never take my personal frustrations
out on any nurse, doctor, etc. Inside I may be really annoyed at the
simplest of things, but I do my best to keep it together. Ultimately,
they are all there to help and assist, and for that I am grateful.
Sometimes, though, I just want to tug
off my allergy bracelet and rip out my IV and go running outside! I
want to be like a normal kid in their twenties, and not be bound by
all of the rules in which I have to so meticulously follow while in
house. Yet, the rules are that way for a reason, and each little rule
adds up to a bigger picture. Therefore, I know it is vital to comply.
Still, coming home is like a breathe of fresh air! Although there are
still rules to comply with, I can stay up until 2 in the morning
without someone documenting it in the computer or checking in with me
every half hour.
Do any of you ever feel the same? - A
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