Sometimes, I feel really defeated
living in a world inundated with such ignorance – when I use my
handicap plate, it is not atypical for people to scoff at me and give
me death stares. Those of you who read my old blog, KT Fabulous, may
remember about an instance where a woman screamed at me in a Target
parking lot for having used mine... I remember trying to tell her in
a calm manner that it was indeed mine, and her yelling back at me
“yeah, right!” and droning on and on about what a horrible person
I was... I was so incredibly humiliated, this woman was shouting at
me in a parking lot filled with customers on a busy Saturday
afternoon. After, I was so torn up by this woman's verbal tirade that
I called my parents and therapist in tears... I was so shaken up! The
only time in which I ever even use it is when I am in a great deal of
pain, as I would never want someone who needed it more than I to be
denied the opportunity to have it. These days, however, I am almost
always in a great deal of pain and almost always need to use it. I
try not to let the stares of ignorant elders and younger people alike
bother me, but sometimes it does get to me. Sometimes, the
hate-filled stares make me want to break down in tears right there in
the midst of a public parking lot filled with an array of
strangers...
That is why I believe it is vital for
us all to show a lot more love and compassion to one-another, and to
do so it is instrumental that we do not judge a book by its cover! I
would be lying if I said I have never experienced feelings of envy in
regards to other girls – especially in my younger years when
vacationing in Aruba. I remember seeing stunning, tall blondes who
had the most beautiful legs – I will never have that, ever, I would
think to myself (at least not in this lifetime). Upon thinking that,
a feeling of sadness would fill my soul as that reality sank into me
deep down within. I wanted to be that girl, that girl who had the
flawless legs and could parade around in a bikini without receiving a
host of curious stares... Why the hell couldn't I be THAT girl? Why
was I that one in a million? Why ME?
And yet, I knew nothing about those
girls. The girls whose bodies in which I wanted to have as my own so
badly, were ones in which I had never even spoken to before... I
assumed that because they had the perfect body, they had the perfect
life. Gosh, was I ignorant. For one, I knew nothing about invisible
illness in terms of mental and physical health. Who was I to think
they had the perfect life without ever having really gotten to know
them? What gave me the right to assume that?
My own illnesses (compiled with other
life experiences), however, have taught me that judging a book by its
cover is so utterly detrimental to the world – I have been the one
who has done the judging in the past (i.e. assuming girls with
perfect bodies had the perfect life) and the one who has been judged
by others (well, she doesn't look sick) and there is no good to come
of it. So, as cliché as it may sound, let's not be so quick to judge
the person walking aside us in a store or on the beach... assumptions
can be rather dangerous, and can cause a lot of hurt. The “perfect”
body does not equate to the perfect life. Richness does not guarantee
happiness. Looks and outside appearances can be so utterly
deceiving... and in a world obsessed with outside looks, we must
always remember there is more than meets the eye!
- Arianna
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