Rational Fears and Chronic Illness

Some anxiety sufferers experience irrational fears along with the rational ones. However, for now I am going to shove the irrational ones aside. People with a chronic illness need to learn to live with a future of medical instability to a much higher extent than those without one. When our health is constantly in jeopardy, how is one expected to not worry about their medial well-being?

With my condition, I get sporadic and spontaneous cellulitis infections that are often severe enough to require hospitalization in order to receive immediate IV treatment of the area. I just got home from the hospital yesterday after coming down with a bad infection Monday night. Just Sunday, I was out enjoying the day and feeling better than ever. When I woke up Monday, I felt the familiar pain of an oncoming infection, it resembled that of my more serious ones I have had in the past. The pain soon got out of control as the systemic symptoms began to kick in; it was time to venture to the ER of Children's Hospital Boston yet again.

Prior to this, I had not been infected for a total of 6 months for a cellultis infection, an extremely lengthy period of time given my past history with them.

In the past few months, people have asked me how I am feeling, and I have always told them that as far as my condition is concerned, I have never been in better shape. In many ways, this was the truth as a pain medicine I have been taking for my chronic lower leg pain (meloxicam) was working wonders. Yet, behind my words and positive front there is always a deep-rooted concern that lingers inside, a fear that maybe two hours from now I could be on my way to the hospital in striking pain.

In October of last year, I had been in my school library studying when I suddenly felt an oncoming infection; it was literally within a moments notice. Then, the pain worsened and my systemic symptoms started to follow; it was vital to get to the hospital right away. Any lost time was a chance for the infection to dwell deeper into my body, not treating it in time could lead to sepsis (which I've only had once as a small infant).

There have been numerous other places where I have come down with these infections; one of the more notable times was when I was on a cruise in the middle of the Caribbean Sea. Just like all of the other infections, I had been fine one minute and cellulitis stricken the next. So how do I not worry about the possibility of an oncoming infections when they arrive with no warning and such paralyzing intensity?

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