Hey everyone! So I am located right in
the eye of the blizzard Nemo, and things outside are intense! We
already have about a foot of snow, and overnight we should be getting
at least one foot more. I guess it's just an end to an already crazy
week!
This past school week, I skipped a
couple of college classes; I was grappling with an episode of
depression and was not sleeping at night, at all. The worst part was
that I could not get myself to even cry to release some of those
pent-up stress-hormones, it was almost as though my body had ran out
of tears from years past. Normally, after a good long cry, I actually
feel better. Strange as that sounds, there is actually scientific
evidence to back up my claims of feeling better after a crying
session.
Anyways, with my depression acting up
and my leg sore from the relentless cold, I resolved to stay in for
the day and sleep. I am not an advocate of missing classes by any
means; but I am an advocate of putting your health first, whether
that's mentally or physically. And I've learned that means that
sometimes I need a day or two just to get myself back together, and
if anyone wants to judge me for that, that's their problem.
My KTS is not invisible but my
depression is and we live in a society that takes that for granted
(although less than before, thankfully). What I'm saying is this:
fighting is an important part of depression. Fighting can entail a
vast array of things, for some it can simply be getting out of bed in
the morning and putting one foot in front of the other. Or, it can
mean working towards a degree even though you feel your future is
utterly hopeless. HOWEVER, you also need to know that sometimes, you
need to take a step back and regroup. In fact I would argue that
indeed that is a way of fighting depression.
If your depression is similar to mine,
it will try to demean you for having the audacity to allow yourself a
day to try and regroup. It will tell you that you are lazy, and that
it is typical of you to give up, and that you're just continuously
screwing your life up. Fight it though, by telling your illness that
you need a day because you are dealing with a very real illness. You
would have no qualms about taking a day off if you were diagnosed
with the flu, right?
It took me a very long time to learn to
put my health first, even if that meant some things had to fall to
the wayside sometimes. But you know what? Those two college classes I
missed didn't kill me; I made up the work and am in groove with the
rest of the class. A full schedule with mental illness along with a
chronic illness is exhausting, but ALWAYS remember to BE YOUR OWN
ADVOCATE. - A
Agree?
Disagree?
I want to hear it in the comments! ( :
No comments:
Post a Comment